Yesterday (Saturday) was a good day for Connie. He ate a little and played a little. He seemed good enough to go to my cousins wedding reception so we did. While there, he laid on my lap or slept in the stroller the whole time except for a brief look at the fish with grandpa. No throwing up and no misery and acting uncomfortable for the most part so I told Greg as we were leaving the reception that I thought Connie had a good day. Then I saw a dad leaving the zoo with his two year old son on his shoulders. He stopped and lowered the boy to the ground where the boy promptly took off running. Seeing this made me pause and think, "No, now that would be a good day. Connie should be running and active and playing like a normal two year old." I got kind of down after that. He had a restless night again and was so tired today. He hardly napped at all though. This morning at mass, the homily was about God giving us enough. How we pray for our daily bread and we get it. It may not be what we'd like or think we need, but it is enough. That brought me back to yesterday. I want Connie to be like that other two year old. I think I need him to be "normal". In reality, it needs to be enough that he's able to walk, able to play a little, able to eat a little. It is enough, I just need to accept that it is. This is our new "good day".
Today was not so good. Today he barely touched his food and whined all afternoon. I kind of lost it for a minute when I saw him try to carry his little learning laptop over to grandpa and he couldn't pick it up and carry it. He used to be able to carry it. It's not heavy. It's a child's toy. He wasn't happy unless I was holding him, and even then he was restless. He did finally have some goldfish and a yogurt drink around 4pm. He refused dinner and after a nice long bath and being a little perkier for awhile he nestled into bed easily at 8pm sharp. Five minutes later we heard a blood curdling scream and ran in to find him sitting in vomit. I guess he never digested his goldfish :( He got another bath and is now laying on Daddy's chest watching a movie. Hopefully he falls asleep soon because he has a big day tomorrow-and it starts early! I'm apprehensive and scared and all those things, but most of all, I don't want it to be like this any more. I so want this suffering over for him. Even if it gets worse before it gets better, it's got to get better than this.